Category Archives: Being Yourself

The Enneagram Prison Project

http://www.enneagramprisonproject.org

Meet the EPP Ambassadors | Enneagram Prison Project from Susan Olesek on Vimeo.

Helping inmates by teaching them how to heal their own hearts through the wisdom of the enneagram and learning about their own personalities and desires. This is a fantastic idea and I am really glad someone is reaching out to our prisoners to teach them about themselves and what really motivates them. I believe this is one of the only ways to truly heal.

The enneagram has helped me personally in endless ways when it comes to self understanding and being able to understand others. I can only imagine how different things would be if the enneagram was used for widespread prisoner reform!

Another brilliant idea is this link I found, Enneagram for the DSM.

Top 10 Affirmations for Self Confidence

Self confidence is incredibly important. That is why California Truth has written out these very important top/best affirmations for self confidence with a voice recording so you can listen to them again and again!

  1. People can feel my confidence radiate from every single millimeter of my body

  2. People are drawn to my confidence and attractiveness.

  3. I am bursting with positive energy and emotion.

  4. I am completely sure of myself yet humble enough to defer making judgments on anyone or anything until I have fully assessed the situation and have a deeper understanding.

  5. I am completely full of life and energy and I have more than enough energy to do everything that I need.

  6. I am happy with my mind and my body and both continue to improve daily as I understand further my underlying strength and power.

  7. I feel comfortable in my skin and I am grateful for my attractive body.

  8. It feel fantastic to be alive and I am sharing each moment as a celebration in every moment throughout the day.

  9. I can not get enough of life, because around every corner life is blessing me with more opportunity than I could even imagine for myself!

  10. Every closed window offers an open door with even better opportunities I would have been closed off to before but am now fully aware of.

Self-Talk and Negative Impacts

“Oh, why am I such a loser who can never get anything done? I can’t do anything at all… I’ve wasted my life just sitting here doing nothing, look at me, I will never amount to anything… I look horrible, and fat. Who would want this fat person, oh no, what am I…..”

Self-talk isn’t just something we do from time to time, the self-talk actually has a way of creating realities without you even knowing it. Once this reality is created it’s up to you to control the reality. This alternate reality can go two ways, positive, or negative. Telling yourself that you cannot accomplish a goal will really help you NOT accomplish a goal. You may tell yourself that you’re a loser with nothing to offer in life. Maybe tell yourself that you’re too fat and that you’ll never lose weight or look good to other people. Tell yourself that you’ll never do anything with your talents in life.

If you really keep telling yourself these things you will create an alternate reality of lies that you have told yourself over and over again. You and others will start to project your image as the loser, the fat person, and the talentless. Even though you’re absolutely wrong about the image you’ve created of yourself, you’ll believe these vicious lies and implement the thoughts in your head to stay.

When you think this way you will not have many opportunities in life to showcase your actual skill set and potential in day to day functions.

Crash and Burn

Your negative self-talk can be a kamikaze of negative impacts that will make you crash and burn at any moment. You will dwell on your negative feelings until you launch them into attack mode, the attack is towards a friend, family member, spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend. Basically anyone who you feel has “wrong done” or “suggested” that you may actually be good at something. You will target the comments and feelings you’ve lied to yourself about and attack the person with your convinced techniques. You actually believe you’re in full tune with your feelings, but in reality this is far from the truth, and will just end up causing hurt and pain to yourself and your peers.

The more and more you focus on your negative feelings and thoughts, the harder it will be to annihilate the issue because you won’t even think there’s a problem to begin with.

Talk Yourself Out Of Your Lies

If we could only switch the negative talk on and off like a light bulb we would, but it doesn’t work that way. It takes a plan of action and willpower to want to make change in yourself for the better. Here are a few cheat codes on thinking a little differently:

  • Remain Calm: You can’t hide from your negative thoughts forever, but you can identify and assess your situations. When you notice you start talking negatively to yourself and others, maybe try acting like you’re speaking with your boss on a job and remain calm. You wouldn’t talk to your boss negatively or with disrespect, would you?
  • Call Yourself Out: Call yourself out on your told lies. Ask yourself, “Is what I said really true?” or “There must be an alternative way to think about this situation?” You should always point out the obvious positives in each situation. If you missed out on passing your lesson, there are always lessons you’ve learned to implement for the future way of thinking and handling situations.

Positive Forward Thinking

We all need to admit that we are never completely out of harm’s way when it comes to negative self-talk. We will have great days, and we will always have those days where we want to harm ourselves with verbal abuse and pull out the old lie cards. When this happens remember to think positive, and look forward, not looking back on past statements or thoughts that you had towards yourself. Think to yourself “I am the most confident person in the world. I have the skills I need to accomplish anything I put my mind to. I am going to trust myself because I rule and would never lie to myself”. Maybe even write these things on a piece of paper and hang it somewhere viewable, and always remember that you are worth it, and you CAN do it!!

LOVE YOURSELF TODAY

  1. You are amazing

  2. You are awesome

  3. Your value comes from within

  4. You deserve to be happy

  5. You have a purpose

  6. You know what that purpose is

  7. When you act as your authentic self you will BE HAPPY!

  8. Every second of this life counts

  9. Stop right now and be thankful for your life; FEEL IT

  10. Now show yourself that you care and give yourself a hug

If there is anyone else in the world who deserves it, why wouldn’t you?

>>> HUG <<<

6 Steps to the Best Life EVER!

Avoiding the laziness trap; I don’t want to do anything after work!

It seems what we are always told is to work hard and relax. This makes sense, go out and get the needs of your family met and then you know everything is taken care of. This is old wisdom but it is not true. Your needs can not be satisfied simply with money alone.

steps to live the best life ever

Humans have many needs!

Humans have more needs than the food, housing and products we use in our everyday lives. While our bodies have a set of needs to keep them healthy, our mind has these same needs as well. It turns out that humans were not just born to eat, breed and die! We have other complex and diverse needs too.

Here are some needs I have noticed we have as human beings:

The need for community.

This means something different to everyone but it seems to be healthy and happy we need the support of our community. This is typically thought to be  your church, your school, or your work. A number of other communities are available as well such as meetup groups or even the gang of people who get together at the local gym, community center or bar.

The need for friendship.

We need to have people who believe in us. People that we can be there to offer ourself in service to who will also be there for us. Our friends need to be positive minded people who encourage us to grow, and grow themselves as well.

To find and follow our Passions!

To be psychologically healthy we must follow our passions. These passions are different for each of us and we might have no idea what they really are. For years I had followed what others had wanted for me or said I was good at. I find this brings more stress and anxiety than the peace and serenity you should gather from participating in your passion. You will find your passion by the incredible energy and psychological wellbeing that participating in it will bring you.

Reminding yourself who you are, and being your own best friend.

We have the need to remind ourselves who we are. It can be so easy to lose your identity without doing this. There is a great deal of help found in Journaling. We need to write down our feelings and our dreams. Doing this everyday will help keep you on track. Also keep a list of your daily activities, even if this is just did laundry, etc. Looking back over the days, you will find out if you are really living your life and spending your time the way that you want!

The need for physical freedom.

It is vital that we all have our bodies in good enough condition that we can find ourselves up for anything at any time! When we allow ourselves to get lazy and our bodies get weak, it can make us very tired. We can find ourselves have trouble doing even the simple tasks that should not take much exertion. I have heard from many that simply keeping up with the kids, keeping the place tidy or even keeping up with personal hygiene can be exhausting!

The answer, challenge yourself daily physically! Make yourself sweat. Push your muscles to the point they grow and make sure you are ready for anything. Eat the vitamins and nutrients that your body needs and reduce your exposure to heavy metals and fluoride by getting lots of reverse osmosis water daily!

Shame free living

It is so so hard not to be worried about what others think of us. The problem comes in where we stop being who we are to avoid potential ridicule! We really only can be truly free and happy when we give in to our silliest and sexiest whims and dance like no one is watching (even if they are).

One of the purest forms of meditation is letting yourself go. Going free into dance, into song, playing that instrument like no one is watching, really getting into that aerobics class, performing or talking on stage without a care!

Think about this, in 100 years what you did or you didn’t do will be lost in time. Do it anyways!

Embrace control over your life and live as your best possible you.

If you follow these steps people in your life might get uncomfortable with the new and successful you but you will feel better and best of all you will start to love life instead of just living day to day!

Danger of Disintegration and Being an Individual

Kazimierz Dąbrowski talked about Positive Disintegration, or Individuation (Jung), or Personal Development, or Spiritual Evolution. These are all much the same thing. That is why I am going to talk now about the danger of being an individual in relation to Positive Disintegration within human society. While I am using Dabrowski’s terms, one must also recognize the significance in the relationship between personal disintegration and any other type of personal development. When one becomes, or is naturally an individual there may be certain consequences.

Dabrowski felt that society by in large was afflicted with a herd mentality and that there was a type of social sickness of mass delusions that may not offer the best solutions or image of reality. When one is greatly influenced by society they are integrated, or integrated into society. This means that their opinions and values are much the same as the family from which they came or the community in which they were born.

It is when the individual breaks away from the societal expectations of them and starts thinking critically and making judgements based on higher and lower values that they start to Disintegrate, which essentially means becoming a person of higher consciousness and an individual.

These higher values vary based on the individual and may be wildly inappropriate in the eyes of the society in which the individual resides, but nevertheless is held as truth for the individual who disregards widespread opinion or law for their own truth.

Dabrowski teaching Positive disintegration

Dabrowski was a humble and brilliant man.

These are the exact types of people that have changed history forever and given us the gifts we rely upon today. We easily forget that human life has only existed at this level of comfort for a very short time. Technology and the sciences have offered us many things and while we uncover much of the world around us and inside of us we are able to exist in a much safer way. It was not uncommon in the past to lose multiple children in a lifetime to sickness. This, thankfully is not such a common issue of today. Many people never left the area they were born in and today we can easily jet set around the world.

Carl Jung Personal Development

Because of this incredible technological revolution and the apparent ease of our lives, it is easy to be arrogant and pretend that we have all the answers. The truth is much the same today as it was 500, and even 5000 years ago. Those with unique and innovative thoughts, the very same thoughts that will one day shape the lives of all, are not rewarded. Our communities, we rely on them for our life. In the past, something or someone different could be a massive threat to us. This is easily seen with the indian genocide, there, a little more lack of trust and they may have fared much better. Isn’t it ironic that the most trusting of us must pay so heavily, when those who easily could have been friends would die upon a sword.

Regardless, the idea I stress, which I have somewhat drifted away from, is that these unique individuals who break away from the safety of group think are brave souls. They were burned as witches, and our scientists and philosophers, even Jesus, put to death. Now idolized and revered, in their time they were the brunt of much abuse and cruelty. Our heroes of today who walk the path of Positive Disintegration face much of the same fate. Only now they aren’t yet seen as heroes. They are still the outcast and the joke, both ridiculed, ostracized and even killed.

Now, not everyones disintegration takes them such a divine route but it still must be noted that one of the very first steps, of breaking away from societies expectations can be the very hardest as it is against our very nature of self preservation.

While not written about in his literature, it seems that those who are disintegrated adopt almost near superpowers, become incredibly intuitive, have much larger stores of energy, increased problem solving ability and ability to see things as they really are, need very little sleep and seemingly effortlessly maintain intense enthusiasm. These seem to be the gifts that come with persistent elevated consciousness. These gifts seem to be much needed in order to battle the sheer discrimination one faces when breaking away from the system in which you reside.

The conflicts may exist on a very personal level, such as being banished by your family for picking an unsuitable faith or spouse to something much larger such as being potentially criminalized. In the recent case of Canadian Marc Emery it was being locked in jail in the neighboring country of America for his beliefs regarding consumption of a plant. Instead of admitting defeat he has started on a complete evolution and change of the American prison system from the inside. He was even fired from his prison job for sneaking educational books into the library.

The reality of life for someone on the journey of disintegration is the same story as the poor child who doesn’t fit in by dressing appropriately, getting teased at school. They are on the sidelines, not getting to enjoy what everyone else seems to have right to… but in the case of disintegration this exists on a scale with much higher stakes. If you are rejected in school, your life may be miserable but you will not die. Being socially rejected in today’s society could mean not being chosen for a job, and thus not being able to support your family. It could mean not being able to find the right type of mate, and then failing to breed. There are many implications, and for many the idea of being humiliated or ridiculed is simply too much to bare.

I believe this is why many people exist in a state of neurosis. If you are to agree with Dabrowski in his statement of how pain or trauma is often required for personal growth, it is easy to see where such neurosis would come from. If it is inside of us, for many of us to want to be drastically more than we currently are, this is something that would fight violently with the part of us craving security and acceptance for survival. An internal battle that could, and according to Dabrowski and myself, drive one insane.

It is just as important today, or even more so that we realize the need for individuals to disintegrate and break loose from the pack to change the face of history forever. Unfortunately in the age of technology, those who in the past would have got away with breaking the law for innovation could now easily be caught and traced. Great scientific minds have no access to chemicals and other things to experiment with. Many things are regulated by the state and kept strictly inaccessible, without permits which are only available to corporations and educational institutions. Legislature and corporate greed are choking potential human development.

In the past we had the benefit of cultures completely cut off from each other. Today collective bias moves quickly as technology carries popular opinions and they spread like a highly contagious infection. Fortunately, positive ideas also spread this way but it is unfortunately still a shame that we do not have the sanctity of these small isolated communities to offer variety of mass delusion and opinion. In this way, instead of just the fall of Rome we may bear witness to the fall of the world based on mass delusion of how to behave. With the right delusion we could be leading ourselves into our own graves.

We must always be vigilant to be our best as individual human beings, not to continue to perpetuate outdated or self defeating ideas simply because that is the way it has ought to be done (as it has been done before).

It is with this in mind that I pray brave souls continue to face adversity, neurosis and even death to rise above what it means to be basically human and help us evolve to something more. It is through disintegration, with the actions of brave souls throughout time, who risk everything, that we thrive.

Dabrowski’s Theory of Positive Disintegration

Dabrowski’s Theory of Positive Disintegration is something that is very interesting to many who are on the path of personal and spiritual development. Dabrowski’s theory states that peoples development follows a set series of steps where the individual experiences crises and the individuals reactions to said traumas or events determines the individuals evolution to higher, or devolution to lower levels of consciousness.

Dabrowski believed that these steps or processes could be experienced by anyone, but people with OE (overexcitabilities)  had a greater developmental potential. The traits held by these people with overexcitabilities are quiet similar to those held by people who are Intuitive Empaths, Highly Sensitive Persons (HSP) or Gifted individuals.

Dabrowski felt that society by in large was a herd mentality and that there was a type of social sickness of mass delusions that may not offer the best solutions. When one is greatly influenced by society they are integrated, or integrated into society. This means that their opinions and values are much the same as the family from which they came or the community in which they were born.

It is when the individual breaks away from the societal expectations of them and starts thinking critically and making judgements based on higher and lower values that they start to Disintegrate, which essentially means becoming a person of higher consciousness and an individual.

Dabrowski felt that often this development was spurred by a crisis, series of criseses or trauma. This is great news for any of us dealing with incredibly bad situations. If you are really depressed, or in a very difficult situation, these are your biggest opportunities for growth.

Learn more about the steps to evolve and gain personal growth by reading about Dabrowski’s Theory of Disintegration.

Why today is the BEST DAY EVER!

Give up worrying and live in the moment!

This is getting a little bit philosophical, but here it is. The reason today is the BEST DAY EVER is because today is the only day that you have!

how-to-have-the-best-day-ever

Right now, this moment and every moment is the best moment you will ever have. The present is the only experience that exists. The future is just an idea, the past is just a memory. That is why you must accept your destiny and live happily in the moment right now.

The truth is, you deserve to be happy! Through this happiness you will find who you are as a person and learn to really enjoy your life as your true authentic self. This is why you must not only follow your bliss, but bring your bliss with you wherever you go! When you are happy it will not only show in your work, but it will show deep within you. When you are happy, your mind will be healthy, and your body will follow. Our bodies are very poor at handling stress and anxiety. Unhappiness leads to disease and sickness!

In the bible, you will often read, “Fear not!” God does not want you to fear. He wants you to understand that it is okay to be happy.

How many things that you worry relentlessly about actually matter by next week? next month? or even next year? five years from now? The truth is you are probably worrying to make yourself feel better! Guess what? That doesn’t work!

live-in-the-moment

Worrying will never make you feel better! The only thing that worrying will do is take you away from the present moment and make your ego feel that you have some sort of control that you really don’t have. This is the illusion, when you worry you feel that you are in control but it is really just a false sense of security!

Take yourself into action. Meditate, get the hardest things you have to do, done first so you have nothing to worry about! Do things that you enjoy. Be your authentic self. Do you really want to look back on your life and know that the entire thing was a lie? That you never really let anyone get to know the real you? That you were too afraid to get to know your true self and live without fear?

Many of us are scared to be happy. We are afraid we will get carried away and run wild! That we will do or say foolish things. When we are in the moment and blissful and truly living we will always know the right things to say and do!

It is when we are scared, anxious and worried that we will make a fool of ourselves by not paying attention, not listening, and looking distracted and not putting off good vibes. Being happy is the best way to gain friends and influence people. Everyone will want to be around you and enjoy your company because happiness is contagious!

When you have good morals and integrity, you can always trust yourself to do the right thing!

Don’t think about it.

Just do it.

Live happy.

Live NOW!

You do not need other peoples validation!

When you allow yourself to base your feeling of self worth on others validation you will find yourself having trouble coming up with the energy to make yourself worthy of the same validation you seek!

i-need-constant-validation-from-others

It is wonderful when someone compliments us and approves of us but when we find ourselves feeling bad unless we receive validation, it is time to admit we have a problem.

Being a victim to the need for validation leaves us exhausted. Needing validation is like riding a roller coaster, there are endless ups and downs and sometimes we feel like we are going to die!

When we feel appreciated and noticed, we are on top of the world! Then on the other side of this if someone looks at us in the wrong way we are hit with a spiral of overwhelming depression.

There is only one solution to this problem, which is… accept yourself for who you are! You must validate yourself by realizing what your own morals and values are and living by them. When you are doing what you feel is right you will feel good inside.

Remember, it is not up to you to make other people happy. It is your job to be a good and fair person and to treat others as you want to be treated. When you are living life in alignment with what someone else wants from you, it is you who ends up hurt.

If someone disapproves of your love interest, career, hobbies, spirituality, partner or anything else YOU know is right for YOU. It is up to you to live up to who you are as a person, and go ahead and do what you know is right anyways. Do not let others steer your destiny! This is what makes up life’s biggest regrets.

It is true some people may not like the real you. Hopefully they will accept you now that you have decided to show your true self. Expect them to be angry at first and give them time. People who try and control us do not like giving up that control! Often these people are insecure and scared and exist by making other people behave as they do or say so they can feel superior. Is this really something they should feel superior about? Crushing you to their will?

If they decide not to have you in their life because of your decision to be yourself, it is time you move on from them. This will make room for new people in your life who will lovingly accept you for who you are.

Is it true love if someone is loving the person you are pretending to be, and not who you really are? Of course not! They just want you to think it is! They are trying to make you behave by scaring you and threatening you. These are things they do because of their own insecure feelings and fears. Do not let them manipulate you! You have the power to be your true self!

It is time to rise up in your own personal and spiritual evolution.

I believe in you!