Category Archives: Building Confidence

Best Cheap Psychic *My experience* on Oranum

First time posting ANYTHING like this!

I really wasn’t expecting to have a psychic be able to pinpoint my personality accurately and immediately. It was incredible. I am a very unique person and the amount of information this psychic had to share with me was unreal!

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My jaw was dropped to the floor the entire time. What an amazing awesome experience to be able to hear all about the things that have been flying around my head. Sometimes the truth is difficult — but over and over I hear in my head the same thing that he told me and it was incredibly cathartic and a total blessing to hear from him that it is up to me to do it, and on my own. What that is… it’s just between us.

I highly recommend this reader. Fantastic.

nourevoyance  is his name… 

Go get a reading today !

One reason people love narcissists who lie, abuse, don’t love them back or treat them well!

One reason people love narcissists who lie, abuse, don’t love them back or treat them well! is a personal flaw. Deeo down people who love those capable of loving them back believe the very best in others. They can not accept that there is an individual who exists who is actually that hollow, that empty and that uncaring. They believe the words instead of the actions. Often from a deep seated desire and want to be consistent, loving and have the same trust, self respect and loyalty that they provide others. Especially their NPD (narcissistic), borderline or abusive spouse.

The fear KARMA in a sense, that if they don’t love others unconditionally that they may not get this type of love back which is, to them, the only love. Loving with no boundaries, always being there for your partner. Unfortunately the victim of the NPD and abusive behavior, lies, manipulation, stealing, etc is often already living in personal hell… as they are participating in a relationship with someone incapable or not willing to love them back.

They may feel they are not loved “anymore” which in a sense is true. Once the individual who is treating you in this horrible and abusive fashion hooked you, they became completely disinterested.

Sad but true. Thoughts?

The Enneagram Prison Project

http://www.enneagramprisonproject.org

Meet the EPP Ambassadors | Enneagram Prison Project from Susan Olesek on Vimeo.

Helping inmates by teaching them how to heal their own hearts through the wisdom of the enneagram and learning about their own personalities and desires. This is a fantastic idea and I am really glad someone is reaching out to our prisoners to teach them about themselves and what really motivates them. I believe this is one of the only ways to truly heal.

The enneagram has helped me personally in endless ways when it comes to self understanding and being able to understand others. I can only imagine how different things would be if the enneagram was used for widespread prisoner reform!

Another brilliant idea is this link I found, Enneagram for the DSM.

Best Jealousy Advice to Overcome Jealous Feelings

“Is it because you have a history of being cheated on? There’s an expression: “What I fear, I create.” Are you testing your partner until he just finally fails? If you fear that somebody is going to cheat on you, you may just push him to a point where someone else may grab his attention. Imagine if someone else treated your partner with dignity and respect, didn’t challenge his integrity every minute of every hour, but was in fact accepting and peaceful and harmonious. These are things that really matter. You need to worry about what you’re creating. Ask yourself: Are you responsible for the previous relationships in which you were betrayed? Did you run those previous partners off with your jealous behavior?”

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/343

Easier said than done, but stop comparing yourself to others
Some (not all) jealousy is driven by low self-esteem. “How could they love me? I don’t understand how someone like them could be attracted to someone like me!” We none of us are supposed to understand exactly why someone loves us. Does the Mona Lisa painting know why it is so valuable? Of course, you may be able to appreciate attractive qualities in yourself, but consider this:

There are better looking, richer, funnier, smarter, younger people around than just about all of us, but these are qualities of a ‘product’. If he or she loves you, it will be because of an extra, indefinable quality you have that they couldn’t even explain – some deep part of your humanity they connected to which transcends looks, youth, wealth, and so forth. Some of the most loved people in history have been well down the list when it comes to looks or wealth. Stop trying to ‘work out’ why they can possibly like you.

– See more at: http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/overcoming-jealousy-in-relationships/#sthash.lqKi2M1Q.dpuf

Assess yourself.

If you’re in a secure and solid relationship, and you’re still feeling jealous, look at yourself and explore your own experiences.

“Research on the subject of jealousy in a romantic relationship indicates that a person’s basic attachment style underlies their tendencies towards jealous reactions,” Morelli said.

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/03/04/8-healthy-ways-to-deal-with-jealousy/

Top 10 Affirmations for Self Confidence

Self confidence is incredibly important. That is why California Truth has written out these very important top/best affirmations for self confidence with a voice recording so you can listen to them again and again!

  1. People can feel my confidence radiate from every single millimeter of my body

  2. People are drawn to my confidence and attractiveness.

  3. I am bursting with positive energy and emotion.

  4. I am completely sure of myself yet humble enough to defer making judgments on anyone or anything until I have fully assessed the situation and have a deeper understanding.

  5. I am completely full of life and energy and I have more than enough energy to do everything that I need.

  6. I am happy with my mind and my body and both continue to improve daily as I understand further my underlying strength and power.

  7. I feel comfortable in my skin and I am grateful for my attractive body.

  8. It feel fantastic to be alive and I am sharing each moment as a celebration in every moment throughout the day.

  9. I can not get enough of life, because around every corner life is blessing me with more opportunity than I could even imagine for myself!

  10. Every closed window offers an open door with even better opportunities I would have been closed off to before but am now fully aware of.

Self-Talk and Negative Impacts

“Oh, why am I such a loser who can never get anything done? I can’t do anything at all… I’ve wasted my life just sitting here doing nothing, look at me, I will never amount to anything… I look horrible, and fat. Who would want this fat person, oh no, what am I…..”

Self-talk isn’t just something we do from time to time, the self-talk actually has a way of creating realities without you even knowing it. Once this reality is created it’s up to you to control the reality. This alternate reality can go two ways, positive, or negative. Telling yourself that you cannot accomplish a goal will really help you NOT accomplish a goal. You may tell yourself that you’re a loser with nothing to offer in life. Maybe tell yourself that you’re too fat and that you’ll never lose weight or look good to other people. Tell yourself that you’ll never do anything with your talents in life.

If you really keep telling yourself these things you will create an alternate reality of lies that you have told yourself over and over again. You and others will start to project your image as the loser, the fat person, and the talentless. Even though you’re absolutely wrong about the image you’ve created of yourself, you’ll believe these vicious lies and implement the thoughts in your head to stay.

When you think this way you will not have many opportunities in life to showcase your actual skill set and potential in day to day functions.

Crash and Burn

Your negative self-talk can be a kamikaze of negative impacts that will make you crash and burn at any moment. You will dwell on your negative feelings until you launch them into attack mode, the attack is towards a friend, family member, spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend. Basically anyone who you feel has “wrong done” or “suggested” that you may actually be good at something. You will target the comments and feelings you’ve lied to yourself about and attack the person with your convinced techniques. You actually believe you’re in full tune with your feelings, but in reality this is far from the truth, and will just end up causing hurt and pain to yourself and your peers.

The more and more you focus on your negative feelings and thoughts, the harder it will be to annihilate the issue because you won’t even think there’s a problem to begin with.

Talk Yourself Out Of Your Lies

If we could only switch the negative talk on and off like a light bulb we would, but it doesn’t work that way. It takes a plan of action and willpower to want to make change in yourself for the better. Here are a few cheat codes on thinking a little differently:

  • Remain Calm: You can’t hide from your negative thoughts forever, but you can identify and assess your situations. When you notice you start talking negatively to yourself and others, maybe try acting like you’re speaking with your boss on a job and remain calm. You wouldn’t talk to your boss negatively or with disrespect, would you?
  • Call Yourself Out: Call yourself out on your told lies. Ask yourself, “Is what I said really true?” or “There must be an alternative way to think about this situation?” You should always point out the obvious positives in each situation. If you missed out on passing your lesson, there are always lessons you’ve learned to implement for the future way of thinking and handling situations.

Positive Forward Thinking

We all need to admit that we are never completely out of harm’s way when it comes to negative self-talk. We will have great days, and we will always have those days where we want to harm ourselves with verbal abuse and pull out the old lie cards. When this happens remember to think positive, and look forward, not looking back on past statements or thoughts that you had towards yourself. Think to yourself “I am the most confident person in the world. I have the skills I need to accomplish anything I put my mind to. I am going to trust myself because I rule and would never lie to myself”. Maybe even write these things on a piece of paper and hang it somewhere viewable, and always remember that you are worth it, and you CAN do it!!

LOVE YOURSELF TODAY

  1. You are amazing

  2. You are awesome

  3. Your value comes from within

  4. You deserve to be happy

  5. You have a purpose

  6. You know what that purpose is

  7. When you act as your authentic self you will BE HAPPY!

  8. Every second of this life counts

  9. Stop right now and be thankful for your life; FEEL IT

  10. Now show yourself that you care and give yourself a hug

If there is anyone else in the world who deserves it, why wouldn’t you?

>>> HUG <<<

Are you self sabotaging yourself? Stop making excuses.

It’s really easy to defer our problems onto others. Sometimes it really does seem like our problems are someone else’s fault. Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice, shame on me.

I am writing this post because of a friend of mine. He is extremely bright, intellectual and sensitive. He is a joy to talk to until you start speaking about accomplishments or aspirations. He feels like he is constantly getting the short end of the stick. He recently ended up in a situation where his father had said he was paying his insurance but refused to send him any sort of confirmations or paperwork. His father is not a dependable man and had fallen short in the past, making promises that he didn’t keep and failing to be dependable. He also suspected that his parents try and sabotage him to keep him on their level. Yet, with this in mind he still trusted his father with something as important as his insurance.

Self sabotage is ruining my life

Invariably my friend ended up in legal trouble. He was pulled over by the cops and could not provide proof of insurance. He was uninsured for three months! When I asked him if he felt he had any responsibility in this, he deferred all responsibility to his fathers carelessness claiming that he didn’t know he did not have insurance!

I asked him if he had proof of insurance, he said no.

Clearly my friend had decided to avoid the situation with his insurance. He knew that it may be an issue, but because my friend was more concerned with who would get blamed when things went wrong instead of the actual threat of legal trouble, he decided to live in ignorance. When the legal trouble and large bills that he could clearly not afford loomed over his head he simply felt bad for himself.

This kind of avoidant behavior carried over into other areas of his life as well. He lost his job, and was feeling pretty down about it. I had spent all sorts of time with him letting him know how he can start his own business. I gave him ideas and resources and showed him how everything he was doing for his boss he could do to make himself money, easily. Every time I asked him about his progress he made excuses. He blamed legal reasons, his ex boss, and anything else he could think of. He told me he couldn’t do what he planned to do so he had given up. I asked him if he had considered doing something else instead. He was at a loss for words.

This is classic self sabotage!

Update: My friend sent me a message letting me know, his life had totally been changed. He said something along the lines of, I have a better paying job now, and I’m doing better than ever. I am happy and I have a future I never thought possible because of you telling me things I didn’t want to hear. Thank you, things are only getting better!

When we make excuses for ourselves and feel like victims it is impossible to take control and live an empowered life. If we refuse to take a good hard look at ourselves because we are too busy pushing our problems into others, we will find that is impossible to cultivate success. Success will be born out of self confidence and self responsibility. If we deny our problems we have no power in repairing them!

Embrace control over your future. You are the only one who decides your destiny.

Take a critical look at your life, could you too be self sabotaging?

Why we want our Abusers to Love Us

Love our abusers

It’s really confusing as to why someone would want their abuser to love them. When you look at the situation from an outside perspective you are thinking, what the hell? This person is obviously no good for So-and-So, why would she put up with that?

We need to keep in mind that abusers don’t just start out abusive! They start out by being often incredibly charming. They woo the victim and treat them like gold. Only when they feel is the victim really trapped do they start abusing them!

The start of an abusive relationship is usually the happiest time in the victims life where they are in love and finally feel safe and good. The abuser will feel in love with them too and it shows. It seems like the best and happiest relationship ever, that is until the abuser starts to lash out.

This plays a naughty trick on the victim. The victim immediately starts to think to themselves in circles!

CycleOfABuseLoveus

What have I done wrong that they have started to treat me this way?

Its confusing and disorienting. One minute you are in love with prince charming and the next minute you are wondering why he is being so distant/cold/avoiding. Next comes the verbal assaults, control, fits. All of these things happen a little at a time and has the victim wondering what they can do to change it.

The abuser knows this so they make sure to act sweet at the right times. This makes the victim feel like it is their fault.  This is not true at all. You can not control when he is going to abuse you, he only lets you think that you can to gain further control!

We are being blackmailed with our love!

We want to treat the person correctly but then they just turn around and make us feel like it is our fault they are treating us bad!

We feel unlovable and hurt.

We want to be loved and cherished again so we can feel safe but no matter what we do the abuser won’t let us feel that way until we are ready to leave.

Which is when they use it to drag us in to the loop again and again.

They treat us so well and we feel so much love and joy! It’s like we have gotten our relationship back. Finally! But we are apprehensive…

As soon as we feel safe again is when the cycle starts over and we start wondering why they don’t love us enough.

The absence of abuse is not love!

It is only part of the evil cycle that takes the lives of so many kind hearted souls. Start to learn about the cycle of abuse and realize that your abuser may really love you but you still need to let them go so you can start the process of loving yourself!