“Oh, why am I such a loser who can never get anything done? I can’t do anything at all… I’ve wasted my life just sitting here doing nothing, look at me, I will never amount to anything… I look horrible, and fat. Who would want this fat person, oh no, what am I…..”
Self-talk isn’t just something we do from time to time, the self-talk actually has a way of creating realities without you even knowing it. Once this reality is created it’s up to you to control the reality. This alternate reality can go two ways, positive, or negative. Telling yourself that you cannot accomplish a goal will really help you NOT accomplish a goal. You may tell yourself that you’re a loser with nothing to offer in life. Maybe tell yourself that you’re too fat and that you’ll never lose weight or look good to other people. Tell yourself that you’ll never do anything with your talents in life.
If you really keep telling yourself these things you will create an alternate reality of lies that you have told yourself over and over again. You and others will start to project your image as the loser, the fat person, and the talentless. Even though you’re absolutely wrong about the image you’ve created of yourself, you’ll believe these vicious lies and implement the thoughts in your head to stay.
When you think this way you will not have many opportunities in life to showcase your actual skill set and potential in day to day functions.
Crash and Burn
Your negative self-talk can be a kamikaze of negative impacts that will make you crash and burn at any moment. You will dwell on your negative feelings until you launch them into attack mode, the attack is towards a friend, family member, spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend. Basically anyone who you feel has “wrong done” or “suggested” that you may actually be good at something. You will target the comments and feelings you’ve lied to yourself about and attack the person with your convinced techniques. You actually believe you’re in full tune with your feelings, but in reality this is far from the truth, and will just end up causing hurt and pain to yourself and your peers.
The more and more you focus on your negative feelings and thoughts, the harder it will be to annihilate the issue because you won’t even think there’s a problem to begin with.
Talk Yourself Out Of Your Lies
If we could only switch the negative talk on and off like a light bulb we would, but it doesn’t work that way. It takes a plan of action and willpower to want to make change in yourself for the better. Here are a few cheat codes on thinking a little differently:
- Remain Calm: You can’t hide from your negative thoughts forever, but you can identify and assess your situations. When you notice you start talking negatively to yourself and others, maybe try acting like you’re speaking with your boss on a job and remain calm. You wouldn’t talk to your boss negatively or with disrespect, would you?
- Call Yourself Out: Call yourself out on your told lies. Ask yourself, “Is what I said really true?” or “There must be an alternative way to think about this situation?” You should always point out the obvious positives in each situation. If you missed out on passing your lesson, there are always lessons you’ve learned to implement for the future way of thinking and handling situations.
Positive Forward Thinking
We all need to admit that we are never completely out of harm’s way when it comes to negative self-talk. We will have great days, and we will always have those days where we want to harm ourselves with verbal abuse and pull out the old lie cards. When this happens remember to think positive, and look forward, not looking back on past statements or thoughts that you had towards yourself. Think to yourself “I am the most confident person in the world. I have the skills I need to accomplish anything I put my mind to. I am going to trust myself because I rule and would never lie to myself”. Maybe even write these things on a piece of paper and hang it somewhere viewable, and always remember that you are worth it, and you CAN do it!!