Category Archives: Jealousy

One reason people love narcissists who lie, abuse, don’t love them back or treat them well!

One reason people love narcissists who lie, abuse, don’t love them back or treat them well! is a personal flaw. Deeo down people who love those capable of loving them back believe the very best in others. They can not accept that there is an individual who exists who is actually that hollow, that empty and that uncaring. They believe the words instead of the actions. Often from a deep seated desire and want to be consistent, loving and have the same trust, self respect and loyalty that they provide others. Especially their NPD (narcissistic), borderline or abusive spouse.

The fear KARMA in a sense, that if they don’t love others unconditionally that they may not get this type of love back which is, to them, the only love. Loving with no boundaries, always being there for your partner. Unfortunately the victim of the NPD and abusive behavior, lies, manipulation, stealing, etc is often already living in personal hell… as they are participating in a relationship with someone incapable or not willing to love them back.

They may feel they are not loved “anymore” which in a sense is true. Once the individual who is treating you in this horrible and abusive fashion hooked you, they became completely disinterested.

Sad but true. Thoughts?

The Enneagram Prison Project

http://www.enneagramprisonproject.org

Meet the EPP Ambassadors | Enneagram Prison Project from Susan Olesek on Vimeo.

Helping inmates by teaching them how to heal their own hearts through the wisdom of the enneagram and learning about their own personalities and desires. This is a fantastic idea and I am really glad someone is reaching out to our prisoners to teach them about themselves and what really motivates them. I believe this is one of the only ways to truly heal.

The enneagram has helped me personally in endless ways when it comes to self understanding and being able to understand others. I can only imagine how different things would be if the enneagram was used for widespread prisoner reform!

Another brilliant idea is this link I found, Enneagram for the DSM.

Best Jealousy Advice to Overcome Jealous Feelings

“Is it because you have a history of being cheated on? There’s an expression: “What I fear, I create.” Are you testing your partner until he just finally fails? If you fear that somebody is going to cheat on you, you may just push him to a point where someone else may grab his attention. Imagine if someone else treated your partner with dignity and respect, didn’t challenge his integrity every minute of every hour, but was in fact accepting and peaceful and harmonious. These are things that really matter. You need to worry about what you’re creating. Ask yourself: Are you responsible for the previous relationships in which you were betrayed? Did you run those previous partners off with your jealous behavior?”

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/343

Easier said than done, but stop comparing yourself to others
Some (not all) jealousy is driven by low self-esteem. “How could they love me? I don’t understand how someone like them could be attracted to someone like me!” We none of us are supposed to understand exactly why someone loves us. Does the Mona Lisa painting know why it is so valuable? Of course, you may be able to appreciate attractive qualities in yourself, but consider this:

There are better looking, richer, funnier, smarter, younger people around than just about all of us, but these are qualities of a ‘product’. If he or she loves you, it will be because of an extra, indefinable quality you have that they couldn’t even explain – some deep part of your humanity they connected to which transcends looks, youth, wealth, and so forth. Some of the most loved people in history have been well down the list when it comes to looks or wealth. Stop trying to ‘work out’ why they can possibly like you.

– See more at: http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/overcoming-jealousy-in-relationships/#sthash.lqKi2M1Q.dpuf

Assess yourself.

If you’re in a secure and solid relationship, and you’re still feeling jealous, look at yourself and explore your own experiences.

“Research on the subject of jealousy in a romantic relationship indicates that a person’s basic attachment style underlies their tendencies towards jealous reactions,” Morelli said.

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/03/04/8-healthy-ways-to-deal-with-jealousy/